Below are the 8 most recent journal entries recorded in smokestacksguts' LiveJournal:

Thursday, April 5th, 2007
11:42 pm	Time. Theres certain things I can't say, Theres certain things I can't hear, Theres even certain smells I can't smell. Because I think of you, I don't think i've ever told anyone about you. I don't think i've ever been able to talk about you. I miss you. I miss you so much, If you only knew. I miss you. I havent been able to touch another person, since you left. I miss you so fucking much. Why you? Why. Sometimes I scream on the top of my lungs because I don't understand why it had to be you. I miss you so much. Current Mood: depressed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 12th, 2007
11:23 pm	My Story, Heres my story from the past couple of months, enjoy. Right as the new year started everything started to fall apart. Friendships starting breaking. I lost my girlfriend. My best friend started to change, And as everyone and everything changed around me, I got told that i'm a diffrent person. I sat around and took the hits and the punches, Everyone was so afraid that the world would notice that they've changed they just decided to blame all there problems on me. That I've changed, And I'm a diffrent person. Whatever, I don't understand it. But I can deal with it. People dont come around as much, People dont call as much. And I hope you all know, I'm the same person. I'll always be the same person. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving. I'm just going to be here. Right here. Where are you? Where are you angel. Where are you. I think I need you now, I need someone to care about. Some people have told me my hearts gonna be the death of me, But I like it that way, Once you become a part of my life, I'm gonna be there for you. I'm not that big of an asshole I'm not that big of a dick Don't listen to what everyone else says. I've basically forgotten about my feelings so that everyone else can be somewhat happy. And as i try to make everyone happy, They take what they want from me, and then tell me i've changed. I'm Matt Marino. Theres no chance in hell I'll change. I've changed for people. And i've regretted it. I live with so much regret. I'm always thinking about the past instead of thinking ahead. I feel as if the future doesnt matter because I screwed so much up in the past. I've made plenty of mistakes. But I'm glad that i've learned from the mistakes. This will be the last melodramtic post, I post. I'm gonna write happy things on here. I'm gonna start writing, Stories maybe. I'm gonna write about my life. I'm letting everything from my past go and i'm just gonna take it day by day. Summers coming up, I can't wait. I'm so sick of the routine. I can't wait to be out of middle school. I can't wait for my future. As I say goodbye to the great times i've had with the people i truly love. I say hello to the times I know that are gonna be the best days of my life. And as for you, What do you want me to do?, your the first person whos ever made me cry. Your the first person who has ever made me feel like complete and total shit. But yet. I still feel something for you. Something i've never felt with anyone before. "Maybe I should just give up, I mean you've broken my heart. More than once." The same question has been in my head for days. Were you real? What were you? My Angel. Will you come again? What. Were. You. I need you. I need you now more than ever. I would love to see you around. My feelings have all gone numb, Because I'm used to being let down. Why don't any of you call anymore. I guess you all have better things to do. Wheres my angel? Current Mood: blank (Comment on this)
9:49 pm	Hey Kiddo I bet you twenty bucks I can make you fall in love with me, again. Current Mood: aggravated (Comment on this)
12:22 am	Yeah. I'm pretty certain that theres something wrong with me, I'm so stressed. I have to go to the doctor tommorow. Cause I'm not healthy and i'm just getting worse and worse, I havent slept all weekend, but come to think of it, I havent slept in 4 years. 4 years no sleep. Come soon sleep come soon. I've been trying to fall asleep all night, the sleep comes and the sleep goes, the sleep enters, and the sleep exits. The Sleep exits. I'm awake. I'm wide awake. My mind is full. But i'm empty and dead inside. I wish I could find you, I wish i could. Is my brain just messing with me, were you real?, what were you? what. were. You? Current Mood: nerdy (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 11th, 2007
7:08 pm	Madam Me. Maybe. Just maybe you were sent here to let me know that i'm a mess and i'm a complete wreck. Where you an angel? Why did you come up to me and just vanish. I mean, you didnt walk away. You just, vanished. I can't find you. But i've come to terms with myself. I know i'm a total nutjob and i'm an asshole and everyone hates me. But I've made peace with myself. I'm glad to be hated. I love the way i live. Thank you for helping me you angel. Thank you, you fucking angel. Current Mood: accomplished (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 10th, 2007
11:30 am	Wow. I met a girl a couple days ago, she was i dont even know. Short blonde hair, with eletric red streaks, she said she loved my jacket and she was a huge fan of alk3, shes a singer and she wants to demo some songs with me, both bands i'm in are falling apart so i would love to try something new. Her name is liz. Liz. Where are you liz?, I hope i can see you again. Current Mood: crazy (1 Comment |Comment on this)
1:34 am	God. I really can't take the routine anymore. I swear i'm gonna throw up. The SAME THING EVERYDAY. SAME EXACT THING EVERYDAY. I can't take it, i'm about to have a mental breakdown. Seriously. It just needs to be summer so I can travel and tour and shit, I got a bunch of punk kids hating me cause i charge people to record OMG. there just stupid poor ducan kids that can't afford lunch at school. so they get it for free. Stupid bastards. '07 has really been one of the most miserable pathetic times of my life. I sit around everyday in self pitty. If i could change the past i would. Because i've made so many mistakes and i live with regret everyday. You know when people say "I live with no regrets", thats such bullshit. Everyone has regrets. If i had a time machine i'd go back and fix everything. Cause there was a period of time when everything was so perfect, everything just feel into place. I had it all. My life is a complete and total mess now. I'm trying to get everything back together. But my life has been like swimming in the ocean, once you stand back up theres always that one wave that knocks you right back down. You get up, You get kicked down, You get up, You get kicked down. I have the best friends in the world. Thank you guys. Thank you Thank you. Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
Monday, February 12th, 2007
6:09 am	Hello I don't know anyone with a live journal, there for I will get no comments. I just need a place to write and let the world know how angry I am, I hate my life at this point in time, I'm sick of the routine. I pretty much wake up every morning and cry. Current Mood: angry (1 Comment |Comment on this)